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August 8, 2008

Emergency Med reflections

Been a busy couple of weeks. Professionally, its the middle of the hump right now and emergency medicine has definitely been a roller coaster, if nothing else. Part of me likes the excitement, there are definitely lots more procedures and you really do feel like your doing real medicine. Real world patients, you really do get to learn how to save lives, a little bit of ICU, a little bit of OBGyn, a little bit of peds, a little bit of anesthesia and a little surgery as well as a whole boatload of medicine problems. I do think I miss the safety and security of a structured and slower paced environment like an internal medicine at CPMC. During my shift I always feel like I'm frenetically running around and treading water just to stay afloat. But as Jane said, I will definitely give it till the end of my rotation and having a little patience before really weighing in on it. On the other hand, I do really like it when I am complimented and my confidence level goes up a bit.But man am I tired after doing these shifts.

Right now I think Emergency Medicine would be ideal from a career point of view, higher pay, less hours in the hospital, very interesting and exciting which would allow me to do VC or be an entrepreneur while still supporting myself.

On the other hand, I just like hospital medicine more: a little slower paced but not outpatient, more time and opportunity to think through differentials and read up on diseases. And I kind of like the academic environment and the people are more to my liking, more thinkers than doers. And you have time to think in a less hectic setting where there are still acute things. And you still have the opportunity to do outpatient later on in life. I will definitely say that being in the clinic is definitely a lot more chill than having to go to the hospital every day. It just makes me feel a little inadequate though to think that you really won't be very proficient with procedures compared to ED with internal medicine. And the pay is almost half that of EM which is unfortunate and I really don't think the culture is quite there of moonlighting etc.

Maybe all this rumination eventually comes down to that last line.

July 22, 2008

A good day in outpatient medicine

Its been a while and I need to catch up on blog entries (Not that my life is so exciting between studying for boards and being cooped up in the hospital).

Anyway, ongoing thoughts about outpatient medicine. I'm on my last day with Dr. H here in Claremont and its really been surprisingly good. There is a side of outpatient medicine that is attractive: getting to really know your patients and also being the first line to pick up really bad things when they could otherwise go unnoticed. One of the highlights during this rotation was finding a woman with a large retroperitoneal abscess likely either from a ruptured appendicitis or a appendiceal tumor who came in because she was just feeling lousy and looked kinda crappy and had some diffuse aches and pains and a tender belly and some pale eyelids. We got a stat white blood cell count which showed that she had 20,000 white cells (normal is less than 10k) and was anemic with a hemoglobin of 12, scanned her belly and found the abscess. She got the abscess drained and put on IV antibiotics. We probably prevented a life threatening blood infection in her and probably saved her life. In some ways it was kind of like the emergency which WE found and upgraded rather than the patient defined emergencies for which they go to the ER on their own initiative. Either way, you're really saving a life which is very meaningful. A very different twist on Emergency medicine!

Of course my preceptor (this funny German guy who is VERY German, always on time, uber efficient, the ultimate task master who expects things to be done 10 minutes ago whose idea of fun is to rent a smart car instead of a taxi from the airport) think I ought to go into primary care because "its more important".

June 5, 2008

Great day in Medicine!

Man, what a great day. It started as normal, actually a little later than normal because I got out of bed late which made me preround on my patient late which subsequently made me late to morning report. As I sheepishly slinked into my seat, I beat myself up in my mind for being late, what would my program director think of this guy that's always late? I thought to myself. Gave a nice presentation on Cdiff colitis with my team and then retired to the doc's lounge to "read" and just sit around. Then around 1-2 got a page from the GME office that I had a package. It turns out that one of my patients, a sweet old lady who had a TIA and some hyperlipidemia owns a vineyard down in Carmel and actually SENT ME A BOTTLE OF CABERNET from the vineyard with a little card directed to "Dr. Eugene Hsu". After celebrating a bit and telling my senior resident M about it, I happened to ask M to fill out a little evaluation card for me to give back to Dartmouth. On it, I didn't expect to find a comment about how one of my patients actually said to M that she wanted me as her primary care doctor. It was literally one of the best compliments I have ever received in my life! It really made me feel good about myself better than any compliment, score on a test or feedback in med school. Then to top things off, at the end of the day around 6-7pm, I still hadn't admitted any patients despite lolling around all day and I decided to "stick around for one more patient" despite my senior resident telling me I could leave and that "it wasn't worth it" to see this last patient. It turns out this patient had some lower abdominal pain associated with filling of her bladder and needed to go constantly ever 10 minutes to relieve the pain and I was able to come up with a diagnosis (interstitial cystitis) that fit her clinical findings PERFECTLY and presented the perfect assessment and plan to my attending who agreed with me and told me the H+P was "great". It all went so well, I felt so confident and on top of my game. Anyway, I left the hospital whistling and singing. Later, J told me that this was a lesson in faith, patience, interdependence. Whatever it was, for the first time in a while I think I know what I'm doing . . . and I'm doing it WELL!

June 2, 2008

Excited!

Wow, its amazing, I just had dinner with my buddy Dan who is an MD/MBA and inventor of medical devices. Man, that stuff is so exciting. It makes me excited just thinking about doing that stuff. Anyway, hopefully I can work on that stuff when I get to Tuck . . . can't wait, can't wait, can't wait

May 31, 2008

Medicine - on the differential

Since second year when I shadowed Dr. P at DHMC, I have liked the idea of hospital medicine. You get to romp around the hospital, changing orders, negotiate with specialists, communicate plans, counsel and even break bad news to patients. Its more continuity than the ER but not the agonizing length and commitment of outpatient medicine which I think I simply do not have the patience for as important as it is. Add to that the versatility of seeing both routine "social visit" patients and very complex acute care patients and hospital medicine seems like a good choice.

The patient I am seeing now is a case in point. This guy is a noncompliant 65 yo patient with full blown AIDS and a CD4 count of 18 and a viral load of 176k who is here with 12lb weight loss, fever and chills likely due to an opportunistic infection exacerbating some possible hypogonadism (fancy word for your endocrine system not working well anymore and causing your metabolism to be out of whack). I like stabilizing the patient and then taking symptoms, tests and thinking and looking up literature about what could be causing this guy's problems then going back, discussing it and coming up with a diagnosis or plan that is not only the state of art care for the patient but is also the result of my creative and diligent researching. I like explaining these things to my patients, educating them, treating them and then discharging them when they get better.

I guess the only drawback is the acuity of care, there is still a difference between surgical and medical patients in the sense that surgery is really still the last line of defense when medical options have failed and carries with it the gravity (and also the rewards) of being responsible for the life or death of a patient. I wrote to Dr. B at the end of my trauma experience thanking him for teaching me how to save lives. As cliche as that might sound, I really meant it because the satisfaction of seeing my kickboxer patient who was literally dead weeks before sitting up in bed and talking to him knowing that myself and my team played an important role in saving his life was probably one of the most meaningful experiences in my life.


May 19, 2008

A reminder about residency

Just got off the phone with my old boss from J&J who reminded me once again 1) of how much fun I had at J&J and 2) of how important it will be for me to become a real physician. He told me about a story of how he walked through the ER and was able to pick out a young guy who was having a heart attack just because "he didn't look right" and I also shared with him my story about the kickboxer I took care of who had severe rhabdomyolysis and multi-organ dysfunction who we saved on surgery. He told me how important it was in organizations where people are too scared to make decisions to have the skill of making the right decisions with insufficient data, the skill that physicians put into practice on a daily, if not hourly basis. And for the rest of my day at least, I will be feeling pretty good about where I am and where I am going.

May 6, 2008

From Alice

I heard something today from one of my patients that I really have to write down . . . she told me "Please, be a good doctor . . . or else don't do it because its going to be a lot of hard work"

That pretty much sums up my decision.

April 27, 2008

Goodbye Tuba City!

Just finished my family medicine rotation in Tuba City Arizona on the Navajo Rez . . . here's some pics of the place and the peeps

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Me, Mark, Dr. Guzman and Dr. Kandell

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Me and Ernest - family med nurse extraordinaire

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Me and Dr. G

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Entrance to the hospital

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Our good ole family med trailer

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Family med clinic waiting room (at lunchtime)

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Our last Friday Flea market (this is where we got the good roast mutton)

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Gimme some mutton!

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Last day at Dinebito (rural clinic 45 min outside of Tuba)

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Couldn't leave without a nice sandstorm to send us on our way

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Me and Mabel

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Me and Dr. Tang (lookit my hair!)

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Allosaurus tracks in Tuba!

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Raptor Ribs mmmmm

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I guess I wasn't the only one who thought that looked good . . . petrified dino dung

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Goodbye Monument valley!


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A stop in Arches National park (here's Mark at window arch)

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Delicate arch

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Turret Rock - looks like a gun turret I guess


April 9, 2008

Intro to ED

Worked a shift with Dr. L tonight at Tuba City ED. Not too many really sick people but that didn't mean it was any less educational. My first patient, a 66yo diabetic with a 101.5 degree fever, sore throat, cough and body aches was pretty cut and dried . . . or so I thought. Body aches, cough, no red throat and her age made it VERY unlikely that she had anything other than a viral upper respiratory infection. And our Dartmouth teaching tells us that 90% of the diagnosis is in the history NOT in expensive, unnecessary and ultimately resource wasting lab tests and imaging. Yet we did a rapid strep swab, ordered a chest xray, drew blood from both her arms, made her pee in a cup all to rule out a possible life-threatening sepsis which my history told me she DID not have in the first 30 seconds.

So apparently the thinking goes in Emergency Medicine that to be right about the diagnosis is NOT as important as to be paranoid about the worst case scenario. In fact, forming a "differential" diagnosis in EM is upside down. Its more about looking at the worst possible 3 diagnoses for a patient's chief complaint, ruling them out with tests and history rather than to gather data and based on that data, come up with the mostly likely diagnoses.

Toward the end of my shift, I also saw an aggravated patient with seizure disorder who was screaming profanities at the medics and staff trying to undress her and draw labs from her. Meanwhile I listened as Dr. L tinkered with the police dispatch radio testing it to make sure it was working in case they needed to contact us.

I guess the question after all this is: do I really want to be up at 4am in the morning dealing with all this stuff? Even if I do get to work 3 days a week and be off at predictable times, have a life outside medicine, etc.

Lately I've been thinking about the question "if you take away all the money, prestige, what is it that you would be excited about doing every day?" Would it be staying up all night in an ED?
It should be an interesting summer.

March 25, 2008

Home visitin'

What an amazing experience it is traveling through the Navajo country with the visiting community health reps . . . I met some wonderful people, helped some, learned a ton about Navajo culture.

The first woman I met was a really lonely 87yo whose husband had died and all she had was her sheep and her prayer meetings to keep her company in her 10'X15' shack about 10 miles from the 89 highway with probably double that distance between her and the next human being. She was all packed up and ready to move from this, her winter camp to her summer camp down the road. She mixed all her meds up (red, orange, white, yellow, square, round, diamond shaped) all into an old green family-sized motrin bottle because as she said "it was easier to take that way". The medical student side of me wanted to lecture her about being more "compliant" with her meds, using a pillbox or something more "rational" to take her meds. But another voice told me to listen and try to understand her point of view and most of all not to do harm by confusing her further and ultimately getting nowhere by imposing my view of the world and the human body on hers. As I left her house, I swung by her sheep pen to visit with her family. It was a surreal moment to have about 3 dozen sheep stop what they were doing as I walked up and stare at me. It felt like stumbling into a party where no one knows who you are or what in the heck you're doing there.

The second person I met was a 78yo guy whose only family for miles around were his six dogs. I'll never forget pulling up to his one room hogan where he was sitting on his porch chillin while his dogs were curled up in the shade next to him. This elder was also fiercely independent. Despite having a hot frying pan burn a 3X4 patch of skin off his right leg, he was intent on NOT going to the hospital because "they won't do anything for me". In addition despite his diabetes and a blood sugar of 226 (nl is around 100), he was dead set on only taking his medications every other day because it made him "feel funny". Nonetheless, it felt really good making my first medical decison BY MYSELF taking into consideration his vital signs, his wound, his diabetes, his upcoming health maintenance check and deciding not to take him to the hospital and instead putting a dressing on for comfort and instructing the patient to take his medications every day.

The last patient I saw today was a cute lil ole lady who lived with her son who complained that she kept getting gas in her belly after using a nebulizer for residual wheezing from a pneumonia she had a month ago. Although I did not do much more than read the instructions from her prescription label to take the albuterol ONLY AS NEEDED instead of every 4 hours as she was doing, it felt really good explaining the physiology of swallowing vs breathing and reassuring a patient who was motivated to be healthy but just didn't have access to the right information.

I guess what this day made me realize is that one CAN make a difference one patient at a time and that it DOES feel good to help those who cannot help themselves. All it really takes is listening, staying open minded and caring. I recall Dan telling me one time that he would never practice medicine in this country. Maybe he'd change his mind if he met these three wonderful patients.


March 19, 2008

Good day in Family med!

I had a great day in family medicine today. Worked with Dr. K in Walk in who is one of the best preceptors I've worked with because a) she is patient, never rushes me b) is very observant and opportunistic about areas she can teach me c) lets me do as much as possible (in fact, I think she let me see and manage every one of my patients today by myself and didn't even bother to come in and "check my work". She also let me talk to a funny Navajo guy named Dodger who was a real character and extremely open. His father was actually a Code Talker in WWII and he is a vietnam vet who was called a gook by the other soldiers and had several near misses in Nam and even won a purple heart, which he says he doesn't want because it just reminds him of "not ducking fast enough". Then in the afternoon, I had a great time working with Dr. M in Peds clinic. Got to remove some sutures, meet a really cute 3yo whose grandma wanted her to see speech therapy because she couldn't understand a word this girl said, watch a brave 5yr old get a toenail removed, make a 14yo girl with a cough laugh when I joked with her about basketball and talk to a 16yo skater who had sprained his ankle. Again, part of it was the preceptor who really let me do a whole lot including remove the sutures, counsel the kids, set up appts, write orders for medications, write orders for vaccines and agreed with my notes and diagnosis.

Maybe I feel good because its family medicine, I am pretty relaxed and well rested. Maybe I feel good because I ran 4 miles without stopping yesterday, maybe I'm getting more confident with my exam and diagnosis skills and that feels good, or maybe its the friendly people here who are responding to my greetings and jokes. I dunno what it is but I am feeling pretty good about being here right now and being in family medicine. Who knows, I just may work as a family doc for the Indian Health Service someday!

February 14, 2008

Stars aligning in OB

Wow, what a crazy day yesterday. I saw two caesarian sections, caught two babies, saw one bicornate uterus (a heart shaped uterus). Raquel was the last one who delivered around 8pm and the stars really aligned for her. She was a first time mom in her mid 20s with a history of bipolar disorder, had a painful fracture in her pelvis, was a half a pack a day smoker and had preeclampsia (a form of pregnancy associated hypertension where you get all swollen up, your blood pressure can get to dangerous levels and you can get seizures). On top of all this, her baby had two cords around its neck which we initially picked up because the babies heart rate got really low during her labor. Despite all of her physical risk factors, she was emotionally one of the strongest and most vivacious patients I've met and she had such an amazingly supportive family and OB team around her. Besides myself, Dr. H and Ella her nurse, her husband offered to drive through the rain and slush to get her "whatever meal she wanted" after delivery because the cafeteria food wasn't good enough and her mother who was so supportive and encouraging, sitting all day with her to pick out a name and never once imposing her wishes on Raquel. The support and strength was apparent because even at the low point in the labor when Raquel was in a lot of pain, had a headache and couldn't catch her breath, she pushed and pushed exactly as she was told. She was so good that she ended up delivering her baby in 45 minutes of pushing (most first time with epidurals moms women deliver in 3-4hrs). The baby came out with meconium stains all over (meconium is baby poop which is a sign of fetal distress), two loops of cord around her neck and looked a bit sluggish and needed to be actively resuscitated because she was not active or breathing on her own. She ultimately did great but not without a good 20 minutes of uncertainty.

Through it all was Dr. H, who was calm but firm and direct with the patient, telling her what she needed to know as well as constantly preparing for the worst whether it was a c section or a vacuum assisted delivery and when it came time, taking decisive action such as cutting an episiotomy and maintaining a high index of suspicion, realizing that when the head didn't come through the episiotomy, something was holding up the baby. All this while walking me and the patient through what she was doing and in the process both reassuring and teaching all of us.

Afterwards, she let me write the delivery note, taught me about how to manage a baby with meconium staining, how to suspect a nuchal cord compression by looking at the recording of the baby's heart, and how to get a patient through a difficult situation. After all of that, she introduced me to her favorite drink after a long night: a pink lady (ginger ale + cranberry juice) and as we sat together sipping, it occurred to me that I had just seen another miracle in medicine.

January 12, 2008

Team Noah

I have a friend and classmate who is fighting Burkitt's lymphoma a rare but deadly cancer of the lymph nodes. We all got bracelets and donated as a class in Noah's name to the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. Go Noah! Just wanted to share the website to anyone who might be interested in donating or reading about his story

http://teamnoah.info/bracelets.html

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December 16, 2007

Suggestibility in medicine

My current OB Gyn attending Dr A is probably one of the best physicians I have ever worked with, knowledgeable, professional, efficient, caring, funny. He's one of those people you see doing something you aspire to do that you wonder if you could ever live up to. However, I observed something very interesting today. Despite the best intentions, physicians are constrained by the rules of economics. The scenario was as follows:

A 50yo patient came in with a few months of perimenopausal bleeding and a family history of cervical cancer which was clearly her first priority. In the process of eliciting a more detailed history of present illness, my attending actually asked several questions about her urination, whether she wets herself, how frequent etc. He then proceeded to perform a physical exam and take a endometrial biopsy (which involves scraping the inside of the uterus for a sample to test for cancer). In his physical exam, he discovered that she had vaginal wall weakness and urethral prolapse (where one's urethral ligaments are stretched or broken by prior childbirths and cause urinary incontinence). Despite her repeated questions about the biopsy, risk for cancer, etc, he kept redirecting the discussion toward a procedure called apogee/perigee/monarc which is a surgery to repair the walls of the vagina to prevent prolapse. What was interesting was to see my attending talk like a mechanic who examines your car for a routine maintenance and then tells you about the sale they are having on Michelin tires and how you really should think about changing your tires.

My attending was very up front about this saying that "my practice has been built around helping women with these problems" and "most women we do this procedure for say that it changed their lives" and "think about it, if you want I can have to talk to several of my patients who have had the procedure, they will attest to its success". It was as if he was creating demand for a procedure to treat a symptom that was never the patient's primary concern.

This brings up the question of suggestibility in medicine. Unlike the mechanic's customers, most patients trust their physicians to be objective yet from a business model standpoint, physicians make their money similarly to mechanics and are subject to the same financial constraints. The line between mechanic and physician is very fine and easily traversed if one is not careful.

December 7, 2007

Reflecting on critical care

I was just reading an article in the New Yorker about Critical Care and found myself very excited by it. In fact, I would say that the experience of having a patient who I saw one month earlier with multiple organ failure wake up, talk and walk out of the hospital may be one of the most satisfying experiences I have ever had. Knowing that you saved someone's life . . .

In fact, the prospect of working in the ICU really excites me most about medicine . . . unfortunately the training is another year.

November 22, 2007

stark reality

After "the interview" I talked to Dr. C about why he left his job as a therapist (presumably where he learned how to heal with words). He told me how emotion laden and energy consuming the work was, where every movement, every sound, action was scrutinized by both the therapist and the patient. So much so that he was exhausted and could work no more than 25hours a week actually seeing patients. And when managed care came along, he realized that the reimbursements would start to shrink and he would have to struggle to justify the time spent with patients so he left. He told me that he thinks if he were to go back to it now, he could only take patients who paid in cash and could justify charging $200 an hour which would result in about $250k a year but leave him very little energy for his art where he would rather focus his energy. Finally he told me that what I saw today, the time and opportunity for real "healing" in medicine no longer exists.

November 10, 2007

Emergency Medicine and Psychiatry

So unlike most of the people in medicine, I have developed insomnia. I think it really comes from the perpetual jet lag of being on call. On the other hand, you always get to do more stuff on call. As my psych resident tells me, the patient to paperwork time ratio is the highest on call (she happens to think this is advantage residencies where you take MORE not less call since you get to do more). For example, I got to see two patients last night. Both were depressed. The first, a gruff looking, burly 50yo gentleman who was crying and wringing his hands as we talked (kind of like a big ole teddy bear). He had developed depression and insomnia over the last few months and had some suicidal thoughts after losing both parents and having his son move away. I think he felt guilty because he cared for his mother who had a terminal illness and literally tried to kill her by illegally cranking up the morphine machine to double the rate. The second was a 16yo who slept with a 45yo for money and had been depressed and suicidal for several weeks. Both were pretty cool and I felt myself wanting to be the one helping them "explore their inner conflicts" especially the first guy. Somehow also hearing a story like that, of a guy who is usually not a whiner as he describes who had a very close family and is now dealing with two recent deaths and having trouble sleeping really struck an altruistic cord in me. I guess it must be my mom's influence somehow countertransferred onto the patient.

Anyway, the other funny thing that happened while I was on call was I bumped into my resident Chatterjee who was running a trauma and really felt like I wanted to be doing it, doing the procedures, evaluating and diagnosing the patient. In short, it made me feel like I really wanted to be an ER doc. Plus the shift work and schedule sounds pretty sweet - 8hr shifts 3 X per week, 4 days off a week and once you leave the hospital THEY DON'T CALL YOU BACK.

I wonder if there is a psych ER residency out there?

October 6, 2007

Going to Greece and maybe Mexico

Good news, Jane and I are going to Greece, Athens and Santorini in 2 weeks! whoo hoo

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Now arranging a Mexico trip with my parents


September 22, 2007

A great day in surgery

My last day on the trauma service has turned out to be what you could say is one of the best days any physician could ask for. It started with patient C (a kickboxer who got rhabdomyolysis - where his muscles broke down and put him into multiple organ failure including a failing heart) whose tests showed he was finally stabilizing after almost a week of acute resuscitative efforts, he's a long way from "stable" but doing a lot better than when he came in.
Then the shocking highlight of my day when a woman came in literally having had her hair caught in a mail sorting machine and being scalped and me and my resident spent a good 20 mins washing clots from under a loose hanging scalp and wrapping up her head while she was fully conscious talking to us.
There was the 2AM trauma case of a guy whose tractor flipped over onto his leg followed by the highlight, a 16yo who killed a horse by ramming into it with his ATV with a intracranial bleed who we took into the OR and evacuated. I ACTUALLY GOT TO CLIP OFF PIECES OF HIS SKULL with a bone cutter. I think we saved his life, he went from appearing to be dead on a ventilator to breathing on his own after the surgery. I hope he does well.

Finally eating breakfast with my residents who all complimented me on the good job I did. Definitely a sense of satisfaction and even a little pride. In particular Josh, my chief resident and someone I really look up to as a physician told me "you are one of the best medical students I have worked with". All in all, a great learning experience

September 21, 2007

On a brighter note . . .

I think if surgery/critical care were a lifestyle specialty where I could be in California and travel to Asia occasionally, I'd TOTALLY do it. Its exciting, challenging, multifaceted and you really do get to say to yourself at the end of the day that you saved lives (Not true in most specialties).

My fallback plans are Anesthesia (where I would definitely get to do critical care but its also a specialty that appreciates and values good lifestyle), Urology, where everyone seems happy and the surgeries are cool. Medicine is looking more and more miserable and kinda painfully esoteric compared to the practicalities of surgery.

Liking surgery . . . or do i?

Last day (and night) on trauma surgery. My highlight today was talking to my patient Mr. T and his wife B, he was in a motorcycle crash that very nearly killed him and he was basically comatose last week, this week he is really recovering except for some minimal depression from being in the hospital. I gave him a pep talk, they talked about how nice it was to have me and complimented me, it felt very good to have played the role of the good doctor with the excellent bed side manner.

But that's just it, in the end I think I'm a relativist. Its not that I have a "passion" for medicine. Its more that I feel very comfortable playing the role of the caring doctor. Do I really care about the patients? I dunno. I check up on them a lot, I hope they get better. But I am also really really glad to be outside the hospital and I groan at the thought of sacrificing the hours of my youth away at the hospital as a "resident". Nonetheless, I think I empathize with patients, and to some extent that must mean taht somewhere deep down, I really do know a little what its like to be alone in a strange place. But on the other hand, I really do enjoy the compliments I get from patients, the compliments I get from my residents or attendings (my teachers). Those things also make me feel smart and with it. The added benefit of surgery too is that its almost exclusively an old boys club where you get to feel like one of the guys. That too is a role that I like to play.

So the real question that I have been asking myself for the last 3 years is, do I like playing the role of the compassionate physician at the beside who sacrifices his time and energy for the good of his patients or would I rather play the role of the coldhearted business person who doesn't really help people but has time and money to spend on the material things in life?

Either way, I think shakespeare was right, life really is just a stage.

September 15, 2007

Notes on surgery

The last three weeks have been like a roller coaster, downhill at a 100mph one minute, then crawling up to the top for another drop. In Trauma surgery, its an amazing thing to be able to say that I helped save someone's life. But the sacrifice to one's own life is equally profound. In the last three weeks, I've spent less time outside the hospital than inside, slept an average of 5 hrs a night for 14 days straight without a break and have felt at times completely exhausted, mentally and physically. I don't think I've used my cell phone at all except to call my girlfriend to get dinner after leaving the hospital. I've even questioned at several instances whether or not I even want to do my intern year at all.

The bright spots are the days when I can really talk to families of my patients in the ICU, watch the kidney of a 22yo suicide victim being fused with the arteries of a 38yo diabetic recipient or the day that one of my patients who fell off a bike and had emergent surgery to repair a bleed into her neck finally left the hospital.

Sleeping for 15 hours after being up for 35. Man, I can believe I'm paying tuition for this!

August 2, 2007

First Post-call day!

Man, what a weird last 48hrs. It started two nights ago with my resident Kamran text paging me to bring my toothbrush. Started yesterday morning at 6:50am, had a full day at Children's Hospital of Orange County (in Cali baby!) including my first presentation at morning rounds. Then spent the rest of the afternoon kinda bored just reading and doing a progress note. Did figure out a cool problem of a kid with superinfected eczema who probably had Wiskott Aldrich syndrome (a rare immune deficiency disease) posed by Dr. A, one of the ID docs at the hospital (one of those senior docs everyone is afraid of but respects b/c he is a really smart but intense guy). Around 8pm got to do my first admit, a 7mo old girl who had lost her developmental milestones and had gone from being a happy cooing, feeding baby to one that was always crying and wouldn't feed. Still not sure what is wrong with this one although likely something bad like a neurological disorder or metabolic deficiency. Then made my first diagnosis of a little 15mo old with Myasthenia Gravis, made more likely by approval from my senior residents at rounds and my intern who credited me! Got 5 hrs of sleep and then rounded on my patient in the morning wrote my first admit and progress notes which were included in her chart and then came home around 2pm excited at having done all these firsts only to crash literally sleeping on the floor with the TV on missing two phone calls. I just woke up, its 5pm and has been 36hrs since I started my first call day.

Amazing! I think part of medicine is that you get tortured so much with lack of sleep, scut-work, getting yelled at that the littlest things, a small complement from a senior, getting thanked by a patient or learning about a new diagnosis literally makes your day. This is a new way of finding happiness by lowering ones expectations to the point that just getting by is enough. You also become so efficient with your time that you can even manage your free time more effectively.
Still not sure if I want this life but surprisingly after 36 hours I am still feeling pretty good about myself! :)

July 22, 2007

I PASSED STEP 1!

Only got around the mean but hey, that means I still passed! Whoo hoo!
Of course, my roommate gets 2 standard devs above the mean but oh well . . .

July 13, 2007

This is the life . . .

Man, 3rd year is awesome. Finally you feel like you are learning and DOING something useful with your life. Plus I started with outpatient pediatrics which means I get put up at a nice little lodge (paid for by DMS) overlooking the beautiful white mountains of NH. I'm sure I will have to pay for it later when surgery starts (next block) but so far its nice to get out at 4pm and have time to swim in the pool, do some online cases and SLEEP. Anyway, two more weeks of vacation and then its going going . . . back back . . . to cali cali

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Views from the hotel

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The good ole Town & Country Motor Inn

June 28, 2007

DONE

Its day three of freedom after taking Step 1 of the US Medical Licensing Exam. The way it works is that in order to become a licensed physician, you have to take and pass three killer exams called steps 1,2,3 respectively. I just spent 8 hours of my life taking Step 1 this past Sunday.

Anyway, I am ECSTATIC that I am finally done with the lecture based, sit on your ass portion of med school and going on to the learn on your feet bedside portion of my training. Thats really what it is I have found, training. Its pretty amazing amount of information that they cram into your head, even if most of it leaves again the day after the exam.

For example, got CPR recertified today and took the course. Compared to the last CPR course I took 3 years ago, it was amazing to know and be able to have a map of the human body in my head as the instructor talked about positions, techniques etc and know precisely the physiological bases of respiration and circulation.

Anyway, so it is on to pediatrics starting on Monday. Gonna be working in the Neonatal nursery (. . . awwww . . .) which should be pretty great. Then its off to the white mountains for a pediatrics outpatient experience before going going back back to Cali Cali in late July to work at the Children's Hospital in Orange County. I can't wait to be a real person again.


May 27, 2007

Medicine - great job, no room for imagination

So finally after two years of painful examinations and sitting in the classroom, my schedule is finally my own . . . sort of . . . Board exams which are coming up in June are around the corner and there is STILL that sense of something hanging over you, something foreboding, another test, another milestone ahead that we must reach, whether its by running, walking or crawling . . .

Its easy to buy into the myth of the "promised land" in medicine. It is easy to admire those urologists, dermatologists, anesthesiologists, radiologists with their tidy little salaries and the "perks" that they have to do what they "love" and ONLY work 60-70hrs a week. After all, if one were to be paying $50k a year in tuition, it BETTER be for something right?

Yet as I sit here procrastinating in the library, I came across an article about Al Gore and the freedom he has now that he is not in politics to be on the board of a private equity company, give presentations about global warming, advising Apple and Google on their business strategy and as usual it reminded me of all the other things in life one misses out on when one enters this profession, or should I say this priesthood that is medicine. In fact, as you look at the average life of a physician, the objective really is to have a stable, well paying, prestigious and interesting job around which the rest of your life is supposed to orbit. When I compare this to the life I would choose to live if I were not in med school, it lacks the spontaneity, the imagination that I think defines who I am. I want to be able to fly to Nice for Cannes and connect what I learn about human nature there to setting up a agricultural project in Burundi, visit my familiy and friends in Taiwan and Japan on the way back to the states for a business meeting while finishing a few interesting books and eating some good meals along the way.

What is the problem with medicine? Its not just the hours in medicine that really prevents physicians from living a life like this, its the culture which replaces the room for imagination and creativity with patriarchy. Ever since the first day of orientation, my life has been planned out, circumbscribed, and micromanaged for me. You are expected to respect a hierarchy. There is an attending physician and below him (sorry ladies, most physicians in positions of authority are still male) a resident and below them an intern then there is the medical student who gets all giddy when they get to do ANYTHING of significance. Within this culture, it is no wonder people are leaving medicine. I heard recently from Dr. B that 3-4% of medical students in the country enter medical school with NO INTENTION of practicing medicine. In fact, I would argue that once training is over, that number is doubled. Take our graduating class of MD/MBA students at DMS this year. 4 out of 6 are going into consulting or banking and to be honest, if some of the other DMSers that did not have exposure to Tuck and the possibility of doing anything OTHER than medicine were properly exposed, I could see 20% or more of the graduating class going into a non medical profession. I think the reason is clear, the cult that exists in medicine really turns away the most imaginative and entrepreneurial individuals that enter medicine. How does this impact patient care? Well it has certainly narrowed the role of physicians to one of being bystanders. I would argue that most of the profound decisions and innovations occur outside of the purview and even peripheral vision of physicians.

Things like new drug or new device discovery, health management and organization building, health care policy, things that really impact the way health care works is done by non full time clinicians (the business execs, consultants, entrepreneurs and inventors may have MD behind their name but generally do not practice medicine). THEY make the real important decisions in medicine, NOT physicians who are mere bystanders in the process

Wow what a rant, I guess procrastinating is really getting to me . . . . anyway better continue this another time before I fail boards.


May 24, 2007

I DID A SKIN CLOSURE ALL BY MYSELF!!!

Whoo hooo!
After 8 hours of watching surgery, I got to DO some today! Well, just a taste anyway by way of skin closure. I shadowed a urologist and got to watch a cystectomy and histerectomy/oophorectomy today (basically we took out a woman's bladder, uterus and both ovaries because of bladder cancer).
I figure that if I want to do surgery, urology would be the one. You get to see patients in clinic 4 days out of the week and be in the OR 1-2 a week which is just fine with me. Very few emergencies, you can take home call and whats more is that urologists are in high demand these days. Sort of just like anesthesia but on the surgery side. Similar to anesthesiologists, the people are just much more laid back and happy. Dr. B who I shadowed says that he wants to keep doing it until he is 70. The surgeries are interesting and highly diverse and flexible.

The downside of course is that its a surgical specialty although with a relatively short training period (5-6 years). Also interestingly it is one of the specialties projected to have the greatest shortage in upcoming years yet urologists are very conservative about expanding slots for residencies. Talking to Dr. Birhle there are at least a couple of reasons one of which is the opening up and closing down of some bad programs (UVM, Tufts were mentioned) and hesitancy to open up any new slots unless they are "good" ones and also that there was a little fall out from the late 1990s when some docs thought they were just gonna retire and then ended up going back into practice when the bubble burst.

Anyway, what bothers me about urology is that I don't know how motivated I would be in the long run in doing some surgical specialty since I am not really the fall in love with surgery at first sight kinda person. For example, I didn't love anatomy all that much (and was surprised how much surgery is really just like anatomy lab, lots of dissecting, clamping, finding structures) and don't really get that urge to do things when I am watching. On the other hand, when I finally did get to suture up a patient, I LOVED IT. So I guess I am trying to sort out how much of that excitement was just from getting to do something (which med students don't really get to do) and how much is actually something I could see myself doing for 20-30yrs!

Its probably all a moot point anyway since I won't get high enough board scores to qualify anyway.

May 23, 2007

Anesthesia, the best balance

I just shadowed Dr. H in Anesthesia. Saw some pedi anesthesia, got to watch pre-op, post-op prep and even some NORA (Non OR Anesthesia where for example they anesthetized a 2yo girl before her MRI).

Overall I think its a GREAT balanced specialty where you get to DO a lot of stuff (put a patient under, bring them back, control all of their vital functions for them, make them pain free, even palliate or offer them a "good" death a la Dr. Byock, the guy who started our palliative care group), the cases are open and shut, you get to go in, do your stuff, achieve an outcome and get out, GO HOME. Or go on vacation, or travel around the world and give talks. Dr. H does 0.8 which means she takes 1 day completely off per week which is easy to do 1) because its shift work 2) Anesthesia is a MONEY MAKER not money loser in the hospital so you are pretty well protected and supported within the healthcare organization. Its exciting when stuff DOES happen (a la the day I saw a neurosurgery go awry) but when stuff slows down your co-workers are usually nice enough to take over for you so you can take a break for 30 mins (AND you can even rationalize it since as a resident told me, you need to sometimes clear your head instead of stare at the monitors in order to spot red flags). For example, I went in at 8am, left at 4pm and had time for two lunches and some long fun conversations with the attending and residents while I was there. Oh another plus is VERY FEW NOTES and less paperwork than other internal med specialties.

Some downsides: no patient continuity and not much patient contact (although I don't really care that much about it, just seeing your patients right before you put em down and right after they wake up groggy isn't super appealing), also not being able to really interact with patients, gather information and make a differential dx kind of takes a lot of fun out of being a doc (although being in scrubs and DOing a lot makes up for quite a bit) and also you are kind of tied to a machine in a hospital without which you are kind of a glorified EMT. Dr H also cited the fact that it is true what they say 30hrs of boredom and 3 minutes of SHEER terror since a patient can crash and crash quickly on you and you can get so used to being in total control over a patient's life that losing a patient can be really traumatic.

In the end the key will likely be personality fit and culture where I can safely say Dartmouth's Anesthesia folks rank among the coolest people I have met so far here. They are pleasant without being superficial or ditzy (like Derm), determined and strong willed without being total control freaks. Overall Anesthesia gets an 'A' for lifestyle and 'B-' for interesting work (by comparison Hospital medicine would be an 'A-' for interesting work and B for lifestyle and C for pay). Anyway, note to self, schedule a clerkship EARLY (not necessary to do a Sub I and Dr. H recommends against it)

May 13, 2007

Transition Ceremony Pics!

Finally, done with the first two years of "sit-on-your-ass-all-day-and-listen-to-lectures" part of med school and onto the "never-get-to-sleep-but-at-least-I'm-in-the-hospital-doing-something" part of med school

Here are some pics from our little mini celebration

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Dr. Pfefferkorn, one of our favorite profs telling us all about William Pickles who made a contribution to medical science by simply being an astute observant general practitioner in the British countryside

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Our teachers those luvable old white guys

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Departing Brownies, we'll miss you guys!

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Hangin in Hanover after the ceremony

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Ako and Jane getting ready to chow down on sum Indian food (this is before the cheap bastards refused to give us the standard 10% student discount)

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Jared and Eugene, skeptical about the service at the Jewel (I mean) the Crap of India

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Everyone looking happy and smiley . . . except Abby who is spacing out as usual :)

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Rachel loves Florence . . . ewwww

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Getting some well deserved ice cream (and Champagne!) at the Hood Museum after the ceremony

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Abby, Jared and Jane starting a new modern dance troupe at Dartmouth . . . Pilobi-LUST

May 9, 2007

R-O-A-D to success or boredom?

I shadowed an Ophthalmologist today. Fun experience, lots of cool gadgets, get to "see" a lot, patients are a little sicker than in Derm but not sure if its for me. I guess to some extent, I am now thinking of more managerial or business-like functions within medicine like Hospital medicine where I get to do a lot of negotiating with doctors, communicating with patients and get to meet a lot of different people (and walk 6 miles a day!). I DO understand why people go into ophthalmology though, really great hours (we stopped seeing patients at 4), infrequent call schedules, not a lot of patients will die on you, nor do you really have too many emergencies. Plus there are some lucrative procedures with Lasik and Cataract surgery. Btw, I finally figured out why some people do not qualify for Lasik. Apparently, the procedure works by adjusting the CORNEA (not the lens) by making it more concave thus pushing the image focal point which falls in front of the retina in myopic patients to lie on top of the retina. However, some people are just born with thin corneas which are too thin for the procedure which would subject the cornea to perforation (which is REALLY bad). Also, I learned that myopia is actually due to the eyeball flattening out rather than a lens dysfunction and that presbyopia (far sightedness) is more due to the lens. Cool stuff, easy to do, can bill a lot for it, and the patients always live. And apparently there are subspecialties in ophtho like Neuroophthalmology where you get the harder and sicker cases but I guess not nearly as tough as neurology. Anyway, if I change my mind, I can probably do a nice 2 week rotation in ophtho during my Tuck year but for now, I think I'm leaning away from it.

So ruling out Radiology (no patient contact, don't like anatomy that much), Ophthalmology (patients are that sick, not exciting or managerial enough, not that psyched about the eye itself), Anesthesia (gonna shadow in a couple of weeks but my pain clinic experience wasn't that fun) and Derm (great for making money but the people aren't super sick, I think I might get bored). Anyway we shall see, if Jack Wennberg is right and what we need to lower the cost and waste in health care is LESS procedures and acute care NOT more, primary care might just be the place to be in 10 years.


March 28, 2007

New horizons in Medicine

Amazing, I'm watching a Natural Orifice Endoscopic surgery, basically laparoscopic surgery where they basically cut a hole in the stomach and stick an endoscope through and perform surgeries like hysterectomies, peritoneal debridement, liver biopsies etc.

Its amazing to watch medicine and surgery undergoing this major shift toward minimally invasive techniques (minimize scarring, infection, procedure time, anesthesia). I saw it in Neurosurgery with the advancement of ultrasound based spatial imaging with DBS placement and now in GI with basically supplanting laparoscopic surgery through the endoscope.

I think we are entering an age where the line between surgeons and non-surgeons is becoming blurred. Surgery is becoming less and less invasive, and medicine becoming more and more invasive.

Rich Rothstein here is even talking about breast implants through endoscopy! Imagine swallowing your breast implants!

March 6, 2007

Ruling out neurosurgery? Ruling in Hospital Medicine?

So last week I finally shadowed a neurosurgeon. I went into it thinking that I would like to do neurosurg for the following reasons

1) The brain is my fav organ system
2) I like working with sick patients (neurology patients tend to be more chronic outpatient care which I don't like so much)
3) Neuro is a wide open field with a lot of growth potential and where the potential for technology innovation is HUGE in the coming decades
4) The idea of doing something where you really have a chance to help people in a profound way (I saw a neurosurgery patient with a DBS device who literally demonstrated turning on and turning off a debilitating tremor)

However, my experience was somewhat less satisfying. Although Dr. R, the Chairman of Neurosurg here graciously offered to let me shadow him and is one of the most dynamic docs I've met so far here, I found myself being a bit appalled at the culture. For example the chief resident, upon learning that the intern was post-call (which means that he had been up for 30 hours already and was leaving that morning to go home) referred to the intern as part of the "new generation that has to go home". As for the surgeries themselves (I got to watch a temporal lobectomy and a DBS placement), I found myself not enjoying standing (very) still in one place breathing through my mask and not looking forward to 2-3 years of doing suturing as an "assistant" in the early years of residency before actually performing surgeries. I also didn't like that the surgeons are so bound in one place and one function by their patients and that the residents all seemed really hard core and uni-dimensional. Overall, I think its a fantastic field but the adrenaline rush of doing these very long and very precise and methodical procedures has to be such a high that you forget what time it is, forget your need to go outside, go home, and have a life outside the hospital for you to really be able to even survive the training for something like neurosurg or any surgery for that matter. Unfortunately, I think for me, its really not enough and I found myself missing the constant excitement and diversity of patients, managing expectations and communicating and leading the hospital team activities of my inpatient rounds with Dr. Perras in Hospital medicine.

One highlight from the day though was our second patient who coded (likely due to some error in anesthesia) during a routine procedure and the ensuing chaos of trying to resuscitate him, thinking at one point that he was gone and feeling an eery tingly feeling go from my head down to my spine through my arms and legs. It was like one part shock, one part excitement, one part helplessness and I think it made me want to go into ER or ICU medicine even more than neurosurg!


February 28, 2007

A good day in med school

Ever wonder why you have a good day? Today was a good day for me but I think a few simple things turned it from a fairly typical day of dragging my ass outta bed and surfing the web in class to a really good day where I can feel a sense of accomplishment, fulfillment and personal satisfaction as I get ready for bed.

Not surprisingly, most of what I did today was not medicine related although I did at least go to class in the morning and do some very productive studying in the bookstore which made me feel like I was at least doing something productive. I think the main reasons I felt good were that I learned quite a few little insights about myself.

First, I like meeting new people either as well as catching up with old friends. I spent the afternoon interviewing prospective doctors as part of my admissions committee jobs. I also finally caught up with my old high school AP English teacher whom I haven't seen in 10 years and who amazingly lives in Deerfield MA teaching these days (I can't wait to head over to visit later this month).

Second, I got to learn a bit about other countries and places by sitting in on a lecture on Ethnic conflict in Sri Lanka. I think when all is said and done it would be great to come back to a place like Dartmouth and be a professor or something . . . or just come back to do a PhD in postcolonial studies.

Third, I feel like I really got a lot done today and enjoyed doing it both personally and professionally while not pushing myself too hard. For instance, just noticing when I was drained studying and taking a break at the right time (small thing but it gave me time to call my English teacher and still rest up so that I could go back and be productive studying afterwards). And I also realized that I study better in a cafe where there are lots of people. This will definitely help when it comes to studying for boards.

Finally, I think just having a day to reflect on my day shadowing a neurosurgeon and realizing how much I value flexibility and being able to do and learn all these different interesting things really makes me feel free from the pressure that you get in med school to "specialize"

Anyway, I guess the best part about days like this is that you get a lot of perspective on where you are and where you're going. There's really nothing better than feeling like you are on the right path and feeling like you've accomplished something by learning a new and useful lesson about yourself. Good night

February 5, 2007

AAAAAHHHHHHH

Med school is driving me crazy, seriously, I can't believe I am paying tuition for this pain

January 7, 2007

Great Times article by one of my Profs

NY Times

What’s Making Us Sick Is an Epidemic of Diagnoses

By H. GILBERT WELCH, LISA SCHWARTZ and STEVEN WOLOSHIN
Published: January 2, 2007

For most Americans, the biggest health threat is not avian flu, West Nile or mad cow disease. It’s our health-care system.

You might think this is because doctors make mistakes (we do make mistakes). But you can’t be a victim of medical error if you are not in the system. The larger threat posed by American medicine is that more and more of us are being drawn into the system not because of an epidemic of disease, but because of an epidemic of diagnoses.

Americans live longer than ever, yet more of us are told we are sick.

How can this be? One reason is that we devote more resources to medical care than any other country. Some of this investment is productive, curing disease and alleviating suffering. But it also leads to more diagnoses, a trend that has become an epidemic.

This epidemic is a threat to your health. It has two distinct sources. One is the medicalization of everyday life. Most of us experience physical or emotional sensations we don’t like, and in the past, this was considered a part of life. Increasingly, however, such sensations are considered symptoms of disease. Everyday experiences like insomnia, sadness, twitchy legs and impaired sex drive now become diagnoses: sleep disorder, depression, restless leg syndrome and sexual dysfunction.

Perhaps most worrisome is the medicalization of childhood. If children cough after exercising, they have asthma; if they have trouble reading, they are dyslexic; if they are unhappy, they are depressed; and if they alternate between unhappiness and liveliness, they have bipolar disorder. While these diagnoses may benefit the few with severe symptoms, one has to wonder about the effect on the many whose symptoms are mild, intermittent or transient.

The other source is the drive to find disease early. While diagnoses used to be reserved for serious illness, we now diagnose illness in people who have no symptoms at all, those with so-called predisease or those “at risk.”

Two developments accelerate this process. First, advanced technology allows doctors to look really hard for things to be wrong. We can detect trace molecules in the blood. We can direct fiber-optic devices into every orifice. And CT scans, ultrasounds, M.R.I. and PET scans let doctors define subtle structural defects deep inside the body. These technologies make it possible to give a diagnosis to just about everybody: arthritis in people without joint pain, stomach damage in people without heartburn and prostate cancer in over a million people who, but for testing, would have lived as long without being a cancer patient.

Second, the rules are changing. Expert panels constantly expand what constitutes disease: thresholds for diagnosing diabetes, hypertension, osteoporosis and obesity have all fallen in the last few years. The criterion for normal cholesterol has dropped multiple times. With these changes, disease can now be diagnosed in more than half the population.

Most of us assume that all this additional diagnosis can only be beneficial. And some of it is. But at the extreme, the logic of early detection is absurd. If more than half of us are sick, what does it mean to be normal? Many more of us harbor “pre-disease” than will ever get disease, and all of us are “at risk.” The medicalization of everyday life is no less problematic. Exactly what are we doing to our children when 40 percent of summer campers are on one or more chronic prescription medications?

No one should take the process of making people into patients lightly. There are real drawbacks. Simply labeling people as diseased can make them feel anxious and vulnerable — a particular concern in children.

But the real problem with the epidemic of diagnoses is that it leads to an epidemic of treatments. Not all treatments have important benefits, but almost all can have harms. Sometimes the harms are known, but often the harms of new therapies take years to emerge — after many have been exposed. For the severely ill, these harms generally pale relative to the potential benefits. But for those experiencing mild symptoms, the harms become much more relevant. And for the many labeled as having predisease or as being “at risk” but destined to remain healthy, treatment can only cause harm.

The epidemic of diagnoses has many causes. More diagnoses mean more money for drug manufacturers, hospitals, physicians and disease advocacy groups. Researchers, and even the disease-based organization of the National Institutes of Health, secure their stature (and financing) by promoting the detection of “their” disease. Medico-legal concerns also drive the epidemic. While failing to make a diagnosis can result in lawsuits, there are no corresponding penalties for overdiagnosis. Thus, the path of least resistance for clinicians is to diagnose liberally — even when we wonder if doing so really helps our patients.

As more of us are being told we are sick, fewer of us are being told we are well. People need to think hard about the benefits and risks of increased diagnosis: the fundamental question they face is whether or not to become a patient. And doctors need to remember the value of reassuring people that they are not sick. Perhaps someone should start monitoring a new health metric: the proportion of the population not requiring medical care. And the National Institutes of Health could propose a new goal for medical researchers: reduce the need for medical services, not increase it.

Dr. Welch is the author of “Should I Be Tested for Cancer? Maybe Not and Here’s Why” (University of California Press). Dr. Schwartz and Dr. Woloshin are senior research associates at the VA Outcomes Group in White River Junction, Vt.

September 24, 2006

Smoking is good???

I learned recently that smoking is actually great from a government financial management standpoint. It creates a net financial benefit for social security since people die younger (<65) meaning they pay into SS but don't take out. Pretty amazing huh?

December 6, 2005

Impressions of Dermatology

Shadowed Dr. S today. Dr. S is the chief resident of Derm in a tertiary care center who ultimately wants to enter academic medicine. Over four hours I watched him examine a patient for premature male-pattern baldness, do a couple of new patients intakes, do a few procedures like removal of moles and possible melanomas, and got at taste of what it was like to dictate, write up notes and interact with attending physicians. In contrast with cardiology consults the day before where we were standing up most of the time, here we were sitting down with patients in rooms. Unlike in the wards or the ICU, the patients were ambulatory, most did not have dire conditions and no one was in any real distress. Throughout our session, the dermatologists role was one of counselor and diagnostician. Although I did see several procedures, none were very involved nor complex. Most diagnoses in derm did not involve complex pathophysiology although several were not straightforward. As in my previous experience shadowing in the pain clinic in SF, I heard the word "crazy" used to refer to several patients which I did not like.

Overall, dermatology as a specialty seems to be characterized very much by choice rather than necessity from both the patient's and the practitioner's standpoint. Most patients that come into dermatology seem to have a choice of whether or not to go to a dermatologist. Hair loss, while traumatic, is not life threatening. The top three most common cases with the notable exception of skin cancer are acne, skin infections, mole removals, all non-life threatening. The physcian though is allowed a choice to some extent. Most dermatologists are in private practice (I was informed that DHMC actually does not keep any dermatologists on staff - too expensive) and have the choice to work more or less (make a lot of money or a lot more).

Yet the hours are great, the environment is generally upbeat, people are attractive and nice. I have yet to learn whether this difference between cardiology and derm is more due to the difference between outpatient and inpatient medicine or if the symptoms I saw were just specific to derm. What I take away from these two days of derm and cardiology is the lesson that shadowing experiences can be highly variable and that I should hold off judgement until I have seen a good sampling of interactions and get more direct experience in a field. Yet if I had to choose after today what I would be just based on what I have seen thus far, I'd choose to be a cardiologist.

December 5, 2005

Impressions of Cardiology

Shadowed Dr. A in Cardiology consultation today. Rounded with two residents and the attending cardiologist for about 3.5 hours, saw several patients in both the wards and the ICU. The cases were exciting and the pathophysiology was complex. For instance, saw one patient who had non-small cell lung carcinoma that had caused fluid to accumulate in his pericardium (called tampinade) which was restricting his cardiac output. The treatment

I saw several really positive things about cardiology which I liked:
First, the attending was an EXCELLENT doctor, perhaps one of the best that I have seen in action. He genuinely cared about his patients and his students, even noticing and changing minute details that would help the patient feel more comfortable while receiving care (such as allowing a patient to use an innocuous nebulizer because she thought it helped her breathe better). Second, I liked the intellectualism and problem-solving. I liked the applicability of it all, that the concepts in physiology we learn in class were really used to diagnose and model what was going on in someone else's chest and body! I also liked the importance and meaningfulness of it all. The cardiologist or internist is like the brain and the mouth of medicine. Without their diagnosis, achieved through careful observation, reasoning and testing, there is no telling what kind of heart treatment or surgery to give. There is the opportunity and risk of making decisions that have a high impact on a patient's well being. Innovation in technology have made "seeing" the heart much more easy although diagnosis remains a real challeng. There is the opportunity to deliver very important news in a very simple way to a patient or a patient's family which itself is an interesting and fascinating prospect.

Overall, I was very intrigued by this experience and it makes me want to seek more in the way of examining speciallties closer to internal medicine.

December 3, 2005

Passed first term Med school!

P=MD and I am 1/12 a doctor! Hoo-ray!

October 11, 2005

Buuuuuuu

Just failed my first quiz. Its a crappy feeling and pretty scary because I really felt like I knew the material fairly well although its obvious I did not. I really need to spend more time on this quiz next round.

Man, I really gotta get back my groove like I did on the first two quizzes, more independent studying with Deo, less socializing and screwing around.

That said, I will probably go to NYC this weekend. We get Friday off and I will be done with my bschool applications.

Need to really clear my head, be in a big city, watch a movie in a real theater, eat ethnic foods, maybe go to a club. Based on my quiz scores, looks like I will be bringing some books too though. hahaha

Man, this life balance in med school stuff is really no joke.

October 9, 2005

Look mom, I'm gonna be a doctor!

Pictures from my white coat ceremony this past weekend where my classmates got to sit through talks about what great doctors we are going to be, hear about the huge need for more compassionate doctors, yada yada, it was nice to take lots of pictures with family and friends

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Trying the white coat on for the first time, the sleeves were a little big . . . :)

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Me with the Dean, nice smile eh?

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Me and my classmates! Whoo hoo, we're gonna be doctors!

September 4, 2005

Taking another deep breath . . .

This labor day will mark three weeks since classes began. Time has passed quickly though, as I take account of what I have learned, much has happened in a very short time.

These past weeks, I have made the transition from a pre-med, looking forward to med school with nervous anticipation and hopeful idealism, to a first year medical student living wholly in the present. Becoming a physician is both the most intense experience of my life yet full of everyday moments that are routine and uninteresting. To wit, I have never studied so seriously in my life yet there is still time to stare into space, look up the latest NBA freeagent news, talk on the phone . . .

Life in Hanover is very simple. There are trees, trees and more trees as far as the eye can see. No view of the ocean, no big buildings, no crowds, no hustle and bustle. The air is clean, very clean and there are rivers and hiking trails all over the place. There is no smog, no dirty rivers or harbours, and not a lot of noise. There is a college town here that seems to be an extension of the college campus. It contains the Dartmouth bookstore, Gap, North Face, Molly's diner, Mai Thai restaurant, a couple of banks and a small movie theatre. There is no mall here, no Blockbuster Video, no CostCo, no In N Out. There is a very efficient 2hr bus service to Boston, comfy seats, smooth driving, free gourmet pretzels and an in-drive movie. My routine: studying every day, sleeping-in on the weekends, partying every two weeks after the quiz and taking a trip to Boston every month to recover my sanity.

I think I can live with that.


August 23, 2005

My first cadaver

We had a "sneak peek" in the Anatomy lab today hosted by the 2nd year students. I had pretty high expectations of myself going into lab. I had seen and touched several dead bodies in South Africa and seen the Body Worlds exhibit in LA so what could be so bad about a few embalmed cadavers?

And yet, as the 2nd year students calmly unzipped the blue plastic bags holding them, I felt my stomach turn a little. The formalin stung in my nose and I felt a mild tingling sensation in my hands and feet as they peeled back the shroud to reveal the grey, rubbery skin. One of the cadavers, an old man still had all of his chest and back hair which stuck out all over the place. He was barrel chested and had a protruded belly which looked like it may have once been soft and plump but was now hard, rubbery and unyielding. Luckily for me, the hands, feet and head were bound up in gauze (we won't unwrap those until we study the head and neck).

A few presses, pulls, rubs later, I felt more comfortable around the bodies and ready for labs to start next week.

All in all, it wasn't mind-blowing but it was a significant experience in my second week of med school nonetheless.

I guess, in a way, this is a microcosm of the whole process of starting med school. No major epiphanies, just a few tiny revelations here and there. Maybe in another couple of weeks, I will finally feel like I'm a med student?


My first cadaver

We had a "sneak peek" in the Anatomy lab today hosted by the 2nd year students. I had pretty high expectations of myself going into lab. I had seen and touched several dead bodies in South Africa and seen the Body Worlds exhibit in LA so what could be so bad about a few embalmed cadavers?

And yet, as the 2nd year students calmly unzipped the blue plastic bags holding them, I felt my stomach turn a little. The formalin stung in my nose and I felt a mild tingling sensation in my hands and feet as they peeled back the shroud to reveal the grey, rubbery skin. One of the cadavers, an old man still had all of his chest and back hair which stuck out all over the place. He was barrel chested and had a protruded belly which looked like it may have once been soft and plump but was now hard, rubbery and unyielding. Luckily for me, the hands, feet and head were bound up in gauze (we won't unwrap those until we study the head and neck).

A few presses, pulls, rubs later, I felt more comfortable around the bodies and ready for labs to start next week.

All in all, it wasn't mind-blowing but it was a significant experience in my second week of med school nonetheless.

I guess, in a way, this is a microcosm of the whole process of starting med school. No major epiphanies, just a few tiny revelations here and there. Maybe in another couple of weeks, I will finally feel like I'm a med student?


August 18, 2005

Pictures from Orientation

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The traffic circle, I wonder if you can use it when it snows?

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The entrance to DMS, nice eh?

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We went on an overnight retreat as part of orientation. Took a nice hike with some of my new classmates, then climbed this aluminum weather tower thing to get to the view . . . stay tuned to see if we made it.

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Made it! Now where the heck is the ocean?

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New classmates Jared, Ako and Michelle hanging on for dear life!

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Gonna try to make it back to civilization now . . .

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Sword, Khue and Vasi in front of the Moosilauke Lodge(MORE NEW CLASSMATES!!!!)

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"THIS IS HOW YOU EAT WATERMELON . . . "

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My On Doctoring group doing some team building . . .

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From left to right (Rachel, Katie, Mike, Brittany, Narath, Jane)

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My new room and my most important piece of equipment, my bed

August 15, 2005

'Twas the night before med school . . .

After an action packed week of moving to the other corner of the