Notes on surgery

The last three weeks have been like a roller coaster, downhill at a 100mph one minute, then crawling up to the top for another drop. In Trauma surgery, its an amazing thing to be able to say that I helped save someone’s life. But the sacrifice to one’s own life is equally profound. In the last three weeks, I’ve spent less time outside the hospital than inside, slept an average of 5 hrs a night for 14 days straight without a break and have felt at times completely exhausted, mentally and physically. I don’t think I’ve used my cell phone at all except to call my girlfriend to get dinner after leaving the hospital. I’ve even questioned at several instances whether or not I even want to do my intern year at all.

The bright spots are the days when I can really talk to families of my patients in the ICU, watch the kidney of a 22yo suicide victim being fused with the arteries of a 38yo diabetic recipient or the day that one of my patients who fell off a bike and had emergent surgery to repair a bleed into her neck finally left the hospital.

Sleeping for 15 hours after being up for 35. Man, I can believe I’m paying tuition for this!