. . . might as well enjoy it

Wow, the weekend is almost over and I’ve been studying non stop. It makes life simple: study, sleep, study, sleep, occasionally eat and sometimes work out.

As Deo tells me, in med school, since I will study harder than I have ever studied, become sleep deprived and go into lots of debt . . . I might as well enjoy it.

And I have been. The people are great, the material is interesting and the workload, although at times overwhelming is really interesting. I have started seeing patients and taking histories and doing physicals in clinic. Its been really fun and I really feel this is the right path for me. That ultimately, is the best reward I could have.

So for all the hard work, I am enjoying it.

Happiness is a state of mind

Man I’ve had a great week! Slept about 5 hours each night, studied like hell, barely even got to talk to Saya on the phone, and no weeked because this coming Monday I have four quizzes to look forward to.

But you know what? I am LOVING IT.

Seriously, I can truly, honestly say I love being here, I love med school, I want to be a doctor. I feel this great sense of belonging to my profession, to my school . . . its like a strong sense of ownership in what I am doing right now every day. I am the only one responsible for making myself a good doctor. Its really a wonderful feeling. So what has made me this happy you ask?

This week I figured out a new way of studying Anatomy that really worked. I bought an Anatomy coloring book, went into lab on my own and talked to my anatomy teacher about questions. It worked wonders and really helped me to learn and start having fun with the material. Sounds nerdy but you know what? I don’t care, its what I want to be learning, its how I am training my mind to observe, perceive, think, sort information and after just five weeks, I can FEEL the growth happening.

In addition, I am really enjoying my time here at Dartmouth. The people are fantastic, supportive and I have never been in a situation where there are so many accomplished people around me WANT me to succeed and are willing to go out of their way to help me. Just today I had one of my Anatomy profs (Dr. C, a former general surgeon) come up to me and tell me that he got my email from last night and wanted to see me in his office because he wanted to explain the answers to my anatomy questions more thoroughly. The second year students just had an Anatomy prosection for us (open lab where they point out on cadavers what is important for us to know) – it was tremendously helpful.

What other med schools give you this kind of personal attention? I think I made the right choice and I am starting to have a hard time imagining being anywhere else!

All day of studying to look forward to tomorrow, . . . as Quagmire from Family Guy would say . . . aaaAAAALLL RIGHT! :)

Look Mom, I’m cooking! :)

Its a funny thing to live and go to school in a small New England town tucked away in the woods, far far away from everything and almost everyone I know. What makes me feel more at home though is surrounding myself with things that remind me of home. I got a HUGE package from my mom today with all kinds of Japanese and Chinese snacks, condiments and food, a new pillow and a really nice Chinese tea set. Between that and reading Lu Xun short stories, I am really coping quite well to being in the Northeast. I have however decided that I really need to cook to survive out here. So without further ado, my first two homecooked meals at DMS. The head chef (yours truly) sincerely hopes you enjoy these pictures of the great food-I- made-which-you-can’t-have-unless-you-visit-me. Bon Apetit!

Curry, the healthy food on every med student’s diet

Mmmmmmm Curry . . . the chef enjoying a well-deserved meal

Shandong-style Chicken and Mushroom Dumplings and Gai lan with chopped garlic

New Orleans . . .

I can’t believe what is happening there . . . Some of these articles from the NYtimes are just crazy. Look at this one about the Haves and Have Nots

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/05/national/nationalspecial/05moving.html

What I really can’t get my brain around is that while people are suffering in NO, Rwanda, Burundi, China, India, all over the world, I am in my room, socks off, music playing, stomach full trying to study Cardiovascular physiology so that I can be a doctor AND THEN help people.

Meanwhile, people are dying and there is nothing that I can do but study? Do the ends of being a doctor justify the complacency one must embrace as a med student? Apparently they do or else I am just too selfish to act otherwise. Perhaps thats it, perhaps I am just to selfish or afraid to give myself to others. I think I have to get around the thought that its MY med school education. To date my decisions have revolved around what I thought was best for me rather than really helping people for their sake. I suppose thats why living with Deo is so enlightening because he is definitely one person that knows what it means to live for others and not for himself.

I guess the question remains, can I motivate myself to selflessness without being led by someone like Deo?

Settled in!

Finally settling in! Just got internet after a two week ordeal wrangling with the building management and Verizon about getting connected (Apparently Verizon knows how to connect phones from their CO to buildings but not buildings to rooms). Anyway, I am finally using my own secure internet connection whew!!!

Deo my roommate is also settling in. He is finally getting over his malaria which he got in Rwanda (It was crazy, chills, fever, loss of appetite, terrible side effects of treatment). Anyway, I think he’s okay and will probably live . . . I guess there’s no understanding diseases until you actually get them eh Deo?

Here’s a picture of Deo and his adopted parents who just came up from New York to see him:

In other news, I finally found a decent Korean/Japanese restaurant yesterday called YAMA (means simply Mountain in Japanese – yea, I know).

Got a study group that I am comfortable with coming over to study tonight. Studying and pizza, one of the highlights of my life . . .

So in a word, I am feeling settled. Now if I can only catch up on studying in time for my quizzes on Monday . . . shit, time to cram!

My new car!

I got me a brand new Acura TSX, meteor silver! YAY!

Front view of car

Back view of car

Side view of car

View of one happy driver! :)

Turning into a real med student??

Wow, I am tired.
Med school is definitely mentally and physically draining. I think between trying to adjust to the heavy study schedule, settling into the Upper Valley New Hampshire and trying to build a social network around myself, I am really taxing myself a little. Still, I can’t complain. Things haven’t really bogged down as much as they probably will in a few weeks when Anatomy starts up and I am really enjoying living with Deo and some of the new friends I’ve met. It hasn’t quite sunk in yet that I am calling this new place home, I keep thinking I will be leaving in a week or two . . . then again maybe it never will be quite home. We shall see, everything in good time I suppose.

time to study some Histology.

Deo (my roommate) thinks being tired is good because it means I am finally turning into a real med student . . . great!

First week of med school

So I’ve gotten through the first week of med school and so far, I am still alive. I think they are easing us into it right now, no cadavers and long Anatomy labs just yet. Its interesting because I am already seeing some aspects of medical education that is indicative of the problems of health care in this country and the assumptions of scientific cultural hegemony in western medicine. So do we have a monopoly on the CORRECT way to treat patients? Is evidence-based medicine the only way to understand and measure life and well-being?

The studies that are being done in medicine are increasingly specific to treating certain diseases and understanding the pathways for those diseases that are affecting mainly the rich in this country (heart disease, cancer). The goal is to get patients to the point where they can live with the disease, not cure it completely. As Chris Rock says “they don’t cure shit! Cuz there ain’t no money in the cure, its the medicine”. Meanwhile, the rest of the world is suffering from completely curable illnesses that get little or no attention in the “first world”. Take TB for example, tuberculosis is a disease that is 95% curable with a triple drug therapy yet there are over 1.5 billion
people with the bacterium in the world. The allocation of resources to managing this epidemic have declined both in dollars contributed to research and perceived importance of the disease in popular media largely in step with the decline in prevalence of TB among rich white people in this country. In South Africa, patients with CLEAR signs of active TB, coughing, bloody sputum, night sweats, loss of weight cannot be put on treatment until they are “properly diagnosed”. Even when there IS an X-ray machine at the clinic, sputum samples must be taken and cultured (a 3-5 day process) before a positive diagnosis can be registered. This means 3-5 days where the patient can spread the disease, often it is longer because the patients must come back to the clinic (some never do in fact come back).

As Paul Farmer puts it “We live in a world where infections pass easily across borders – social and geographic – while resources, including cumulative scientific knowledge, are blocked at customs”

While we learn important aspects about the molecular basis of medicine, physiology, histology, anatomy in our curriculum, little or no attention will be given to studying the institution of medicine itself. Meanwhile, the health care system in America is perhaps the most inefficient yet institutionalized system around. We as a nation put the most $$$ into health care and yet rank embarrassingly low in terms of primary health indicators like infant mortality. It is increasingly clear even in popular media these days that the health care system in this country is broken yet as physicians-to-be we learn nothing about how to fix it, or even how to understand the problem.

Anyway, I guess I meant to describe my first week of med school, but somehow I stumbled onto this tirade against my chosen profession. But I suppose that is why I am here, as a physician, it will be my responsibility to understand the problems in my profession and try to change it for the better.

Back home . . . for now

Finally back in good ole San Francisco after 27 hours or so of flying. Highlights yesterday: enjoying the crisp bay area breeze after stepping off the plane, taking the first sip of tonkotsu soup at Santa Ramen with Ariel and her bro and cleansing myself with a nice hot shower.

Can’t say I am all here yet though, my mind is in a thousand places right now. Saying goodbye to San Francisco, saying hello to my new life and new friends at DMS (I just got my new address today), preparing myself for the challenges ahead.

Whirlwind trip to SF then Hanover

The next two weeks are going to fly by.

I leave SA on Tuesday, arriving around noon on Wednesday in SF and leaving around noon on Sunday. Between debriefing at CFHI, shipping my stuff and saying goodbyes I’ve got a pretty full plate.

After I leave SF , arrive at DMS in time to pick up my parents then attend orientation the next morning for a week. Entertaining, buying furniture and a car and settling in will take up that week easily. Then my family and I will probably take a short trip that weekend before I start class on Monday Aug 15. Whew! Better rest up in SA.