Getting cold feet?

I am experiencing something that I imagine those with marriage jitters must feel . . . I am getting cold feet about moving to Hanover, NH.

Maybe its because I have been abroad for a while and it feels good to be back in a familiar place; maybe its because another one of my good friends, Dave will be staying here; or maybe its just because I feel at home here. There is definitely a level of peace I feel just being in SF that I do not feel in quite the same way anywhere else.

I am starting to think seriously about pursuing UC Davis. So far, I have been waitlisted there and I do not think it would be a far stretch for them to offer me a place if I was persistent and really wanted to go.

The big reason really is the location. I am really at home in California and when shit hits the fan in med school, my friends and family here in the bay area are who I will look to for solace, advice and understanding. In Hanover, I just don’t have the same connection with the location or the people.

What’s holding me back is my curiosity and desire to explore someplace new, meet new people, engage new issues and challenges. From my experience with each schoo, I feel that DMS students imagine the world as a bigger place than just Northern California and are generally more intellectually curious. In addition there are some of the smaller things that DMS has to offer like the brand name of going to an Ivy, the MD/MBA program, lots of money and better opportunities to do other things in medicine such as microfinance or venture capital.

Ultimately, I know I will get a good education at both places. Most people tell me that I can’t go wrong with either place. Yet I can’t help asking myself what there is to gain at the expense of my own happiness.